WELL MEANING FRIENDS AND FAMILY TELL YOU TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND NOT TO SAY ANYTHING BACK
But that doesn't work. In fact, with many bullies it makes the situations worse and they double down and target you even more.
EVEN IF YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO SAY YOU MAY NOT KNOW THE RIGHT WAY TO SAY ITEven when I had a few good things to say, it didn't always work because I didn't know
how to shut down a bully.
WHEN I STARTED THE I SHOULD HAVE SAID WEB SITE IT TOOK YEARS TO FIGURE OUT WHICH CLEVER REPLIES WORKEDIt took years to build up content and find out what worked and what didn't work with difficult people. We tested various replies with family and friends until we found the best solutions.
I FOUND IT VERY CHALLENGING WITH A DIFFICULT RELATIVEI felt terrible because I just didn't know how to get her to stop, it had been going on for years. I felt even worse about the situation because I was setting a bad example for my children seeing people treat me disrespectfully and not being able to respond. I felt like a failure because I just didn't know what to say to get the verbal attacks to stop. Through testing various responses, I figured it out and I shut her down.